For what it's worth, I very much appreciate hearing your perspectives and experiences Aaron. As a lifetime disaffected progressive, I truly need to understand how someone like you in mid-life feels and experiences your choices about medicalizing when younger. I have a friend who underwent medical transition 17 or 18 years ago. At the time, I didn't think anything of it beyond the fact that my friend seemed very happy about it. We are in different cities and rarely communicate. C was a very young butch lesbian fan of my music in the early 1990s when we first met--an important fan for me, and my music was deeply important for C. (I am avoiding pronouns, awkward as that is.) I have done some writing and songs with "gender critical" content in the past few years, a few on large platforms, though very little on Twitter. But before I went public with my views, I checked in with C. C has been on my mailing list for decades. I wanted C to know that I was going to be standing up and expressing my views, that I felt I must. C was not interested in my request to talk about the subject, but was very polite, expressing how my music was part of C's journey. I asked if I should take C off my mailing list, and was cheerfully told "no, I love your music." C seems to me to be very happy and on a good path in life. I have no idea how C sees this issue--and I actually have no need to. C has no obligation to tell me. C is just enjoying life and making life better for others in C's work. So whatever views and opinions I have been reading and trying on for myself regarding All Things Trans, I have had C sitting on my shoulder, smiling at me beatifically. Someone in my heart, though someone I am not in much contact with. C reminds me that I don't have to have a "place" or a "tribe," in this fraught conversation. More than anything, I just need to be real and create beauty. So hearing from you and Aaron and others is so helpful, for me. Thank you for sharing your truth.
You guys gave me the courage to speak out. I am a butch lesbian who was misgendered all the time as a kid. Transing kids is a human rights issue that is going to blow back on all of the LGBT so speaking up is key.
Thank you, Aaron, for your candor, your efforts to help others, and your compassion. I have a question.
You say transition helped you, and I obviously cannot argue with that. My question is: do you agree that medical transition and living life "as if" you are male was one choice among many for how to deal with your feelings about your sex, as a bodily and social issue? Do you agree that there could have been other, less invasive, less fraught with dangers and difficulties, ways to resolve your psychological issues?
I am glad you do not regret your choices, but I would want to know if you agree that your transition was a choice, that this was not inevitable for you to ever to be at peace with yourself, and, most importantly in advising my own teenage daughter, that it is important to at least try to live in your unaltered body as an adult before embarking on this difficult (but potentially beneficial) set of challenges? My follow-up question would be: do you agree that, if you could have figured out a less physically invasive and socially difficult way of dealing with your psychological issues, that would have been better for you overall?
I hope you don't find these questions disrespectful. I am truly trying to figure this out, and do the right thing for my daughter. I believe she should experience life as a female before medically altering her body to appear male. I truly believe this is the best way to go about solving her psychological issues. I think she owes herself that. If I'm wrong, then I will stop trying to advise her in this direction, but I am not convinced I am wrong at this point.
I think transition prior to the age of 25 (especially for females), is always a bad idea. I completely agree with your that your daughter (and everyone else), should get the chance to live in their own, medically unaltered body, as an adult. Our brains aren't actually that of an adult until 25. And, for females, time is not of the essence. Testosterone will do it's work at any age. So there is no rush. Of course no teenager wants to hear that and 25 sounds like a lifetime away. But the reality is she will most likely outgrow it by then anyway.
Dysphoria is an entirely psychological condition as far as we know. So yes a psychological solution is better than an invasive medical one. If I could have learned via CBT or DBT or some other psychological method to accept my body for what it is, that would have been preferable. I think that would be preferable for everyone. Carving up the body to ameliorate psychological distress is on its face patently insane. (of course I didn't think so when I first embarked upon it). Yet it relieved my distress.
Knowing what I know now I think transition should always be a last result and virtually unheard of for those under 25 (I accept this is harder for dysphoric males to hear, because the effects of testosterone are cumulative and irreversible, but fortunately I am addressing the mother of a daughter and not a son). Currently very few mental health professionals (in the US especially) know what dysphoria is or how to treat it with anything other than transition. And in many cases, even attempting could cost them their jobs or even licenses. So yes while I think there should be psychological solutions to a psychological condition, and I too should have been given those options, but they didn't exist then and they mostly still don't exist. Talking about all this is one thing I can do to hopefully help the profession learn.
But like I said in my briefer reply, you are not at all wrong. You should absolutely continue to encourage your daughter to try and be comfortable in the perfectly healthy body she has. The best way to do that is to stop thinking about it. Dysphoria is mostly a culture bound phenomenon. If you can encourage her into activities that make use of her body and ground her in her body, and less time ruminating (especially not online with other "trans" people), that could help as well. (Im currently reading Abigail Shrier's latest book and this is probably good advice for anyone with psychological distress).
Wow, Aaron. Thank you so much for taking the time to provide such a thoughtful answer. I agree 100% with everything you said. As I have said to Ritchie Herron (detransitioner), I do take some solace in seeing that at least some people who embark on these medical and social changes, whether they are ultimately at peace with their choices or not, can end up well adjusted and relatively happy down the line. I certainly feel the way about you and “other Aaron.” (I’ve listened to your podcast many times.). :)
Still, I will do my best to encourage my daughter to be comfortable in her body, and to try living in it undisguised (I don’t care how she dresses, but binding and pretending to be male doesn’t allow her to freely experience living as a female in this world.)
I agree that the therapy world is not currently equipped to deal with these issues (although some are trying).
And I agree that ruminating is a big part of the problem as is commiserating with other young dysphoric individuals.
And I agree that “T” is one powerful drug that easily transforms female bodies to appear male so no rush (but 18 year olds don’t really get that concept - which is part of the reason they are not equipped to make these life-altering decisions!).
I am not a therapist but I don't think it's accurate to say that psychological solutions still "mostly don't exist". The issue is that good therapeutic solutions cannot be studied in the current climate. Of course as Az Hakeem said for the vast majority of young trans-identifying people, it's a youth subculture - which means really, neither medical, nor psychological intervention is needed and all that is needed is TIME, the greatest healer of all. Time to mature, time to find new interests, time to find oneself. For a small number who don't fit into the subculture group - CBT and DBT that you mention, or perhaps other methods, can probably help. I see no data /no articles to indicate that these methods don't work, nobody would publish on it. However, as long as the young have a dangling carrot of medical transition before their eyes, they may not be willing to seriously engage in therapy. And my understanding is that, for therapy to work, the patients must be open to it working. I sincerely apologize if it sounds cruel, but if people are faced with "Well, you have no other options", they may be much more willing to accept such reality and work on their issues. Maybe as Therapy First expands, we can find a [HIPAA-compliant] way of aggregating the data on therapy success rate to counter the "nothing else works" fable.
I don't think it would be cruel to say "Well, you have no other options." I think that would help most people to just accept the body they are in. I also agree that for many - not all - dysphoria is culture-bound and will dissipate with time and maturity if there is no "dangling carrot." And appropriate therapy would likely help the rest.
Notably, Az Hakeem found that many people considering transition, after being around distressed people who were already medically transitioned in group therapy, realized that was not the solution to their problems and decided not to transition.
You are part of the problem. The only thing that will work is a complete rejection of this entire fraud, and you are part of the fraud. You're a female. Stop living a lie. And if you know that's what you're doing, what is the point of your existence?
There is no such thing as "trans." There is no such thing as "gender identity." Acting like society can tolerate only a little bit of crazy delusion as if that won't directly lead to targeting children and men in women's prisons is delusional and insane--like this whole thing.
You're worse than the other trannies because at least they're consistent. You're inconsistent. Stop acting like you're one of the good ones. There's no such thing.
Thank you for this and for not giving in to the pressure to radicalize. I have been so disappointed to see others move towards a level of gender critical that is incompatible with making real progress (not to mention unkind and intolerant.) There has to be a middle road that's big enough for us all. I believe we can figure this out together and I hope more activists and leaders will come to the same conclusion.
Thanks for your thoughtful commentary. On this: "criticism from Gender Critical activists who feel that by not detransitioning we are advertising transition" I know these extremes are most visible, because the silencing has been so harsh and effective, but most feminists are happy to live and let live. This critics you refer to are in large part reacting against the absolutism that rules institutional academia, queerdom, left and liberal (looking at you Dems), and even feminist orgs. They're furious at the casting-out, shunning and punishment of feminists who dissent and refuse to Recite the Creed. And they have reason to be.
But condemning adults for their life choices is a bridge too far.
I loved that comment about potential transitioners not wanting to looking like middle aged men instead of cute k-pop boys - hair loss and weight gain could be even more powerful drivers of desistance than early onset dementia or osteoporosis. It is simultaneously funny and tragic.
There is no such thing as "transition." Even someone who passes as a male is still female because sex is binary and immutable. And anyone who thinks that should be tolerated, in any way, has opened the door to all of the problems that follow.
Imagine this with any other mental illness. An anorexic who weighs 70 pounds who wants liposuction, but insists that she knows she's not really fat and the most important thing is just leave children alone. A schizophrenic who insists everyone call him Napoleon because of the voices in his head, but don't worry he's one of good schizos because only a tiny percentage of people are really delusional!
It won't happen. This will never work. This is part of the problem, so you cannot be the solution.
This whole thing is a fraud, and nothing else will work except stopping all of it. The raison d'etre of the movement is children and pedophilia. You cannot stop it by allowing it for adults ONLY (I mean the really mentally ill, delusional ones, not the fake ones!).
There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria" and there is no such thing as "trans." No other approach will work.
The belief that one is in the wrong body is a symptom of a deeper psychological problem. There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria" on its own, largely because "gender" has no application to humans. What we're talking about is sex--female and male.
If a male "feels like" he's actually a female, he is delusional. He cannot be female, and he has no ability to know what that is like. It's usually autogynephilia, or severe narcissism, or pornography addiction, or sometimes schizophrenia. Those are the issues to treat.
If a female "feels like" she's actually male, she is delusional. She cannot be male, and even if any of these people pass and trick others, they're not the opposite sex. It's usually childhood sexual abuse trauma, or autism, or depression. That is what must be treated.
This is not a real condition. It's a symptom of a deeper problem, and that is what should be treated.
I understand what you're saying, but like any psychological condition, there needs to be a name for it, doesn't there? It's a delusion, but it's a specific one, so there should be a name for it that people can understand. Like anorexia - it is a particular response to deeper issues. Or body integrity dysphoria, or OCD or any other condition which is a manifestation of distress.
It's not a condition. Please re-read what I wrote. It is a symptom of a deeper condition.
Nobody calls someone who has starved themselves to 70 pounds as suffering from "weight dysphoria."
Thinking you're in the wrong body is a symptom. There are names for conditions--autogynephilia, porn addiction, body integrity disorder.
There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria." Most of it is nasty male autogynephiles and women who were abused by men as children. That covers most of it. Childhood trauma and male perversion.
My point is these difference causes - often a combination of different things - not a single condition - including autism, internalized homophobia, AGP, on and on - *manifest* as "gender dysphoria" or whatever you want to call it. The "dysphoria" is a symptom of at times quite a few things.
Here's the problem--they're going to change it from "gender dysphoria" to "gender incongruence." That's what they want to do in the next DSM.
Meaning, these people don't even have to argue that they feel "unease" because they're in the wrong body. Now, they're going to say it just "doesn't fit"--not congruent. This is while nobody can define "gender" since it has no application to humans.
How do you explain that? Going from "gender identity disorder" to "gender dysphoria" to "gender incongruence." These are the teachings of John Money, a truly evil man who sought to legalize pedophilia. That is the short-term goal.
This is mostly men who claim that they apparently "feel like" they are women. That's sex, NOT GENDER. Tell me how a male can "feel" like he's female. Nobody can.
This is a symptom of a deeper mental problem, or a few problems. If it's autogynephilia combined with a porn addiction combined with severe depression, then call it that.
There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria." They're going to try to change it soon anyway. Using the term itself as though it is real or serious creates the problem because you are giving it legitimacy. Say what is actually going on.
And, just to explain it, I don't think many of these men are confused about what is going on. They know they're men, and they know they'll never be women. That's why when an actual woman says no to them, they get irrationally angry because everyone knows exactly what is going on.
And a lot of the women who take testosterone were abused as children, and they're trying to get away from it. It's childhood trauma.
I cannot ever express to you - Aaron and Aaron— how much comfort you have brought to me over the past 18 months. My daughter was a high school senior when COVID hit. Isolation and lockdowns nearly killed her -literally. Forced ( not by us) separation from her long time boyfriend and all friends, no graduation, no traditions, no 18th birthday…FEAR of the virus. She self isolated in her freshman year of college. Within 6 months she was hospitalized for panic attacks, heavily medicated all while i was not allowed to visit. She had developed TIK TOK syndrome. She came home for a year to get healthy but therapists continued her 6 meds and she attempted suicide within 3 more months. Her Tics spread to her siblings and were debilitating. Eventually she conned us into letting her attend college in Colorado yet developed POTS from the mandatory booster. Eventually she came out as Trans on social media. Convinced she was born in the wrong body. The whole script. Made up trauma, attacks on me…and a “doctor” in Colorado decided she was an EXCELLENT candidate for Testosterone. She had a horrible reaction. We begged her to stop. That was transphobic. THEN I FOUND TRANSPARENCY AND GWLens. You are all a gift. A true gift. You comfort and educate me. Just your opening music calms me. Now we have a new scandal within a scandal. (though we are loving and supporting her and actually excited and terrified)…Did you know that when you tell a girl she is actually a boy and she takes T and stops taking her birth control that she can get pregnant???????? I knew. You knew. And the people in positions of authority know too. Another scandal. You are an important voice in saving future kids.
To whom you are attracted sexually is purely subjective and therefore cannot reasonably be contested by an outside observer. Where you decide to live your life on a spectrum of superficial, stereotypical male to female attributes (and we all do) is also purely subjective and similarly cannot be questioned. However, your biological sex reflects an objective reality which cannot be changed by your subjective personal view and futile attempts to do so can result in serious health impacts to you as well as actual harms to members of the sex you are impersonating (especially women). Finally, others who are grounded in objective reality should never be forced to accept your subjective version of your actual biological sex.
There's no such thing as "trans," for anyone, at any age.
And that includes you. You're part of the problem. You didn't "transition." You're living in a delusion, and you need real help. Stop acting like you're on the "good ones" who isn't crazy like the other trannies.
At least they're consistent. If you know this is a fraud, what have you done with your life? What is the point of anything you do? You're worse than those doctors.
She's a female who takes testosterone because she wants to live a fraud and trick everyone into thinking that she's male, correct?
That is called mental illness. That's being grounded in reality? Literally living a lie and then presenting yourself because you're a cool tranny, not like the regular trannies!
Imagine this with any other mental illness. Imagine an anorexic starving herself to 70 pounds and then saying "Don't worry, I know I'm not really fat, I'm just starving myself because I'm just living my life. The other anorexics are crazy though!"
Or a schizophrenic--"Don't worry, I'm not REALLY listening to the voices in my head, but I'm still going to demand that you call me Napoleon because that's what they tell me. I'm not like those other schizophrenics though, I'm grounded in reality!"
Who would take that seriously? These people are mentally ill. If she knows she's not a man, she needs to get off the testosterone and stop playing pretend. What is the point of anything she does if she admits that she's not a man?
At least the other trannies are consistent. She's inconsistent. She's worse than them.
She is the problem. Stop defending this. This inevitably leads to male rapists in women's prisons and child mutilation. There is no stopping this if you defend ANY of this mental illness.
I'm not quite sure I understand your reasoning, Aaron. If you detransitioned, clearly you would speak from a position of truth. You say you would have done so if those treatment options had been available to you. What stops you from pursuing them now? I do remember your saying in a podcast that you have medical problems after sex trait modification. Would your health not improve if you let your body revert to a female pattern?
I don't quite understand the argument that you do NOT advertise the concept of "true trans" because of the cultural moment we're in. Any person with a mind for transition and who is still in touch with a modicum of their embodied reality will believe that they are the "reasonable trans" like you. Only if you detransitioned however are you not advertising trans in a cultural moment were the critics have actually made huge inroads into fighting the ideology. Puberty blockers are forbidden in the UK, hate speech laws are powerfully contested in Scotland etc.
You on the other hand seem to suggest if you're sane enough - despite the rampant insanity the trans movement displays - you can be trans enough to not regret castration surgeries and hormone treatment. Change my mind!
She's inconsistent. The "reasonable trannies" are the worst ones. They think they're better than the others, but they're completely inconsistent and prove the point--the whole thing is a fraud.
No other explanation works. If she knows she's not a man, what is the point of anything she does?
After seeing a couple of podcasts with Aaron I was thinking that detransition might actually be on the cards. It takes a lot of courage to detransition. A lot more than it does to transition. You are fighting with doubts whether you will pass in your sex. Admitting to yourself that you've made a mistake is huge. But admitting it to everyone around you while the concept of trans has cultural clout and you yourself have carved a position for yourself as a reasonable, respected commentator is an even bigger ask. There are people like shapeshifter who, having been confronted with TERF logic, have gone from trans activism to accepting their sexed reality. I think outspoken activists who regret their transition are the people who can give children a different perspective in this cultural moment. I think Aaron might be one of them at some point. It's a process for most people to give up the idea that true trans exists.
There really is no such thing as "detransition" because nobody transitions in the first place.
Aaron is female and will always be female. She needs to stop taking testosterone and admit that this is mutilation, delusion, and fraud. That's what needs to happen.
For what it's worth, I very much appreciate hearing your perspectives and experiences Aaron. As a lifetime disaffected progressive, I truly need to understand how someone like you in mid-life feels and experiences your choices about medicalizing when younger. I have a friend who underwent medical transition 17 or 18 years ago. At the time, I didn't think anything of it beyond the fact that my friend seemed very happy about it. We are in different cities and rarely communicate. C was a very young butch lesbian fan of my music in the early 1990s when we first met--an important fan for me, and my music was deeply important for C. (I am avoiding pronouns, awkward as that is.) I have done some writing and songs with "gender critical" content in the past few years, a few on large platforms, though very little on Twitter. But before I went public with my views, I checked in with C. C has been on my mailing list for decades. I wanted C to know that I was going to be standing up and expressing my views, that I felt I must. C was not interested in my request to talk about the subject, but was very polite, expressing how my music was part of C's journey. I asked if I should take C off my mailing list, and was cheerfully told "no, I love your music." C seems to me to be very happy and on a good path in life. I have no idea how C sees this issue--and I actually have no need to. C has no obligation to tell me. C is just enjoying life and making life better for others in C's work. So whatever views and opinions I have been reading and trying on for myself regarding All Things Trans, I have had C sitting on my shoulder, smiling at me beatifically. Someone in my heart, though someone I am not in much contact with. C reminds me that I don't have to have a "place" or a "tribe," in this fraught conversation. More than anything, I just need to be real and create beauty. So hearing from you and Aaron and others is so helpful, for me. Thank you for sharing your truth.
You guys gave me the courage to speak out. I am a butch lesbian who was misgendered all the time as a kid. Transing kids is a human rights issue that is going to blow back on all of the LGBT so speaking up is key.
Thank you, Aaron, for your candor, your efforts to help others, and your compassion. I have a question.
You say transition helped you, and I obviously cannot argue with that. My question is: do you agree that medical transition and living life "as if" you are male was one choice among many for how to deal with your feelings about your sex, as a bodily and social issue? Do you agree that there could have been other, less invasive, less fraught with dangers and difficulties, ways to resolve your psychological issues?
I am glad you do not regret your choices, but I would want to know if you agree that your transition was a choice, that this was not inevitable for you to ever to be at peace with yourself, and, most importantly in advising my own teenage daughter, that it is important to at least try to live in your unaltered body as an adult before embarking on this difficult (but potentially beneficial) set of challenges? My follow-up question would be: do you agree that, if you could have figured out a less physically invasive and socially difficult way of dealing with your psychological issues, that would have been better for you overall?
I hope you don't find these questions disrespectful. I am truly trying to figure this out, and do the right thing for my daughter. I believe she should experience life as a female before medically altering her body to appear male. I truly believe this is the best way to go about solving her psychological issues. I think she owes herself that. If I'm wrong, then I will stop trying to advise her in this direction, but I am not convinced I am wrong at this point.
I think transition prior to the age of 25 (especially for females), is always a bad idea. I completely agree with your that your daughter (and everyone else), should get the chance to live in their own, medically unaltered body, as an adult. Our brains aren't actually that of an adult until 25. And, for females, time is not of the essence. Testosterone will do it's work at any age. So there is no rush. Of course no teenager wants to hear that and 25 sounds like a lifetime away. But the reality is she will most likely outgrow it by then anyway.
Dysphoria is an entirely psychological condition as far as we know. So yes a psychological solution is better than an invasive medical one. If I could have learned via CBT or DBT or some other psychological method to accept my body for what it is, that would have been preferable. I think that would be preferable for everyone. Carving up the body to ameliorate psychological distress is on its face patently insane. (of course I didn't think so when I first embarked upon it). Yet it relieved my distress.
Knowing what I know now I think transition should always be a last result and virtually unheard of for those under 25 (I accept this is harder for dysphoric males to hear, because the effects of testosterone are cumulative and irreversible, but fortunately I am addressing the mother of a daughter and not a son). Currently very few mental health professionals (in the US especially) know what dysphoria is or how to treat it with anything other than transition. And in many cases, even attempting could cost them their jobs or even licenses. So yes while I think there should be psychological solutions to a psychological condition, and I too should have been given those options, but they didn't exist then and they mostly still don't exist. Talking about all this is one thing I can do to hopefully help the profession learn.
But like I said in my briefer reply, you are not at all wrong. You should absolutely continue to encourage your daughter to try and be comfortable in the perfectly healthy body she has. The best way to do that is to stop thinking about it. Dysphoria is mostly a culture bound phenomenon. If you can encourage her into activities that make use of her body and ground her in her body, and less time ruminating (especially not online with other "trans" people), that could help as well. (Im currently reading Abigail Shrier's latest book and this is probably good advice for anyone with psychological distress).
Good luck!
Wow, Aaron. Thank you so much for taking the time to provide such a thoughtful answer. I agree 100% with everything you said. As I have said to Ritchie Herron (detransitioner), I do take some solace in seeing that at least some people who embark on these medical and social changes, whether they are ultimately at peace with their choices or not, can end up well adjusted and relatively happy down the line. I certainly feel the way about you and “other Aaron.” (I’ve listened to your podcast many times.). :)
Still, I will do my best to encourage my daughter to be comfortable in her body, and to try living in it undisguised (I don’t care how she dresses, but binding and pretending to be male doesn’t allow her to freely experience living as a female in this world.)
I agree that the therapy world is not currently equipped to deal with these issues (although some are trying).
And I agree that ruminating is a big part of the problem as is commiserating with other young dysphoric individuals.
And I agree that “T” is one powerful drug that easily transforms female bodies to appear male so no rush (but 18 year olds don’t really get that concept - which is part of the reason they are not equipped to make these life-altering decisions!).
Thanks again for the thorough answer.
I am not a therapist but I don't think it's accurate to say that psychological solutions still "mostly don't exist". The issue is that good therapeutic solutions cannot be studied in the current climate. Of course as Az Hakeem said for the vast majority of young trans-identifying people, it's a youth subculture - which means really, neither medical, nor psychological intervention is needed and all that is needed is TIME, the greatest healer of all. Time to mature, time to find new interests, time to find oneself. For a small number who don't fit into the subculture group - CBT and DBT that you mention, or perhaps other methods, can probably help. I see no data /no articles to indicate that these methods don't work, nobody would publish on it. However, as long as the young have a dangling carrot of medical transition before their eyes, they may not be willing to seriously engage in therapy. And my understanding is that, for therapy to work, the patients must be open to it working. I sincerely apologize if it sounds cruel, but if people are faced with "Well, you have no other options", they may be much more willing to accept such reality and work on their issues. Maybe as Therapy First expands, we can find a [HIPAA-compliant] way of aggregating the data on therapy success rate to counter the "nothing else works" fable.
I don't think it would be cruel to say "Well, you have no other options." I think that would help most people to just accept the body they are in. I also agree that for many - not all - dysphoria is culture-bound and will dissipate with time and maturity if there is no "dangling carrot." And appropriate therapy would likely help the rest.
Notably, Az Hakeem found that many people considering transition, after being around distressed people who were already medically transitioned in group therapy, realized that was not the solution to their problems and decided not to transition.
There is no such thing as "transition."
You are part of the problem. The only thing that will work is a complete rejection of this entire fraud, and you are part of the fraud. You're a female. Stop living a lie. And if you know that's what you're doing, what is the point of your existence?
There is no such thing as "trans." There is no such thing as "gender identity." Acting like society can tolerate only a little bit of crazy delusion as if that won't directly lead to targeting children and men in women's prisons is delusional and insane--like this whole thing.
You're worse than the other trannies because at least they're consistent. You're inconsistent. Stop acting like you're one of the good ones. There's no such thing.
You’re not wrong and those are not disrespectful questions. I’ll answer them in length later today (at work right now).
Thank you for this and for not giving in to the pressure to radicalize. I have been so disappointed to see others move towards a level of gender critical that is incompatible with making real progress (not to mention unkind and intolerant.) There has to be a middle road that's big enough for us all. I believe we can figure this out together and I hope more activists and leaders will come to the same conclusion.
Thanks for your thoughtful commentary. On this: "criticism from Gender Critical activists who feel that by not detransitioning we are advertising transition" I know these extremes are most visible, because the silencing has been so harsh and effective, but most feminists are happy to live and let live. This critics you refer to are in large part reacting against the absolutism that rules institutional academia, queerdom, left and liberal (looking at you Dems), and even feminist orgs. They're furious at the casting-out, shunning and punishment of feminists who dissent and refuse to Recite the Creed. And they have reason to be.
But condemning adults for their life choices is a bridge too far.
I loved that comment about potential transitioners not wanting to looking like middle aged men instead of cute k-pop boys - hair loss and weight gain could be even more powerful drivers of desistance than early onset dementia or osteoporosis. It is simultaneously funny and tragic.
Thank you for your candor. It's so refreshing!
There is no such thing as "transition." Even someone who passes as a male is still female because sex is binary and immutable. And anyone who thinks that should be tolerated, in any way, has opened the door to all of the problems that follow.
Imagine this with any other mental illness. An anorexic who weighs 70 pounds who wants liposuction, but insists that she knows she's not really fat and the most important thing is just leave children alone. A schizophrenic who insists everyone call him Napoleon because of the voices in his head, but don't worry he's one of good schizos because only a tiny percentage of people are really delusional!
It won't happen. This will never work. This is part of the problem, so you cannot be the solution.
This whole thing is a fraud, and nothing else will work except stopping all of it. The raison d'etre of the movement is children and pedophilia. You cannot stop it by allowing it for adults ONLY (I mean the really mentally ill, delusional ones, not the fake ones!).
There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria" and there is no such thing as "trans." No other approach will work.
What would you call the psychological condition, if not "gender dysphoria"?
The belief that one is in the wrong body is a symptom of a deeper psychological problem. There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria" on its own, largely because "gender" has no application to humans. What we're talking about is sex--female and male.
If a male "feels like" he's actually a female, he is delusional. He cannot be female, and he has no ability to know what that is like. It's usually autogynephilia, or severe narcissism, or pornography addiction, or sometimes schizophrenia. Those are the issues to treat.
If a female "feels like" she's actually male, she is delusional. She cannot be male, and even if any of these people pass and trick others, they're not the opposite sex. It's usually childhood sexual abuse trauma, or autism, or depression. That is what must be treated.
This is not a real condition. It's a symptom of a deeper problem, and that is what should be treated.
I understand what you're saying, but like any psychological condition, there needs to be a name for it, doesn't there? It's a delusion, but it's a specific one, so there should be a name for it that people can understand. Like anorexia - it is a particular response to deeper issues. Or body integrity dysphoria, or OCD or any other condition which is a manifestation of distress.
It's not a condition. Please re-read what I wrote. It is a symptom of a deeper condition.
Nobody calls someone who has starved themselves to 70 pounds as suffering from "weight dysphoria."
Thinking you're in the wrong body is a symptom. There are names for conditions--autogynephilia, porn addiction, body integrity disorder.
There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria." Most of it is nasty male autogynephiles and women who were abused by men as children. That covers most of it. Childhood trauma and male perversion.
My point is these difference causes - often a combination of different things - not a single condition - including autism, internalized homophobia, AGP, on and on - *manifest* as "gender dysphoria" or whatever you want to call it. The "dysphoria" is a symptom of at times quite a few things.
Here's the problem--they're going to change it from "gender dysphoria" to "gender incongruence." That's what they want to do in the next DSM.
Meaning, these people don't even have to argue that they feel "unease" because they're in the wrong body. Now, they're going to say it just "doesn't fit"--not congruent. This is while nobody can define "gender" since it has no application to humans.
How do you explain that? Going from "gender identity disorder" to "gender dysphoria" to "gender incongruence." These are the teachings of John Money, a truly evil man who sought to legalize pedophilia. That is the short-term goal.
This is mostly men who claim that they apparently "feel like" they are women. That's sex, NOT GENDER. Tell me how a male can "feel" like he's female. Nobody can.
This is a symptom of a deeper mental problem, or a few problems. If it's autogynephilia combined with a porn addiction combined with severe depression, then call it that.
There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria." They're going to try to change it soon anyway. Using the term itself as though it is real or serious creates the problem because you are giving it legitimacy. Say what is actually going on.
And, just to explain it, I don't think many of these men are confused about what is going on. They know they're men, and they know they'll never be women. That's why when an actual woman says no to them, they get irrationally angry because everyone knows exactly what is going on.
And a lot of the women who take testosterone were abused as children, and they're trying to get away from it. It's childhood trauma.
None of it is real.
Gender identity disorder was more honest
Thanks for all your work.
Yes. This. ALL OF THIS!
I cannot ever express to you - Aaron and Aaron— how much comfort you have brought to me over the past 18 months. My daughter was a high school senior when COVID hit. Isolation and lockdowns nearly killed her -literally. Forced ( not by us) separation from her long time boyfriend and all friends, no graduation, no traditions, no 18th birthday…FEAR of the virus. She self isolated in her freshman year of college. Within 6 months she was hospitalized for panic attacks, heavily medicated all while i was not allowed to visit. She had developed TIK TOK syndrome. She came home for a year to get healthy but therapists continued her 6 meds and she attempted suicide within 3 more months. Her Tics spread to her siblings and were debilitating. Eventually she conned us into letting her attend college in Colorado yet developed POTS from the mandatory booster. Eventually she came out as Trans on social media. Convinced she was born in the wrong body. The whole script. Made up trauma, attacks on me…and a “doctor” in Colorado decided she was an EXCELLENT candidate for Testosterone. She had a horrible reaction. We begged her to stop. That was transphobic. THEN I FOUND TRANSPARENCY AND GWLens. You are all a gift. A true gift. You comfort and educate me. Just your opening music calms me. Now we have a new scandal within a scandal. (though we are loving and supporting her and actually excited and terrified)…Did you know that when you tell a girl she is actually a boy and she takes T and stops taking her birth control that she can get pregnant???????? I knew. You knew. And the people in positions of authority know too. Another scandal. You are an important voice in saving future kids.
What a wild ride you’ve been on! Glad the podcast has brought some education and comfort. ❤️Also congratulations grandma? 😅
refreshing! appreciate your condor and insights
Great article - refreshing to hear from your perspective- thank you. Keep up the good work in this fight
To whom you are attracted sexually is purely subjective and therefore cannot reasonably be contested by an outside observer. Where you decide to live your life on a spectrum of superficial, stereotypical male to female attributes (and we all do) is also purely subjective and similarly cannot be questioned. However, your biological sex reflects an objective reality which cannot be changed by your subjective personal view and futile attempts to do so can result in serious health impacts to you as well as actual harms to members of the sex you are impersonating (especially women). Finally, others who are grounded in objective reality should never be forced to accept your subjective version of your actual biological sex.
How is this any different when applied to adults?
There's no such thing as "trans," for anyone, at any age.
And that includes you. You're part of the problem. You didn't "transition." You're living in a delusion, and you need real help. Stop acting like you're on the "good ones" who isn't crazy like the other trannies.
At least they're consistent. If you know this is a fraud, what have you done with your life? What is the point of anything you do? You're worse than those doctors.
What exactly is Aaron deluded about? From my perspective Aaron is pretty grounded in reality.
She's a female who takes testosterone because she wants to live a fraud and trick everyone into thinking that she's male, correct?
That is called mental illness. That's being grounded in reality? Literally living a lie and then presenting yourself because you're a cool tranny, not like the regular trannies!
Imagine this with any other mental illness. Imagine an anorexic starving herself to 70 pounds and then saying "Don't worry, I know I'm not really fat, I'm just starving myself because I'm just living my life. The other anorexics are crazy though!"
Or a schizophrenic--"Don't worry, I'm not REALLY listening to the voices in my head, but I'm still going to demand that you call me Napoleon because that's what they tell me. I'm not like those other schizophrenics though, I'm grounded in reality!"
Who would take that seriously? These people are mentally ill. If she knows she's not a man, she needs to get off the testosterone and stop playing pretend. What is the point of anything she does if she admits that she's not a man?
At least the other trannies are consistent. She's inconsistent. She's worse than them.
She is the problem. Stop defending this. This inevitably leads to male rapists in women's prisons and child mutilation. There is no stopping this if you defend ANY of this mental illness.
Your comments are beyond the pale.
Because they're true.
Truth is beyond the pale.
I'm not quite sure I understand your reasoning, Aaron. If you detransitioned, clearly you would speak from a position of truth. You say you would have done so if those treatment options had been available to you. What stops you from pursuing them now? I do remember your saying in a podcast that you have medical problems after sex trait modification. Would your health not improve if you let your body revert to a female pattern?
I don't quite understand the argument that you do NOT advertise the concept of "true trans" because of the cultural moment we're in. Any person with a mind for transition and who is still in touch with a modicum of their embodied reality will believe that they are the "reasonable trans" like you. Only if you detransitioned however are you not advertising trans in a cultural moment were the critics have actually made huge inroads into fighting the ideology. Puberty blockers are forbidden in the UK, hate speech laws are powerfully contested in Scotland etc.
You on the other hand seem to suggest if you're sane enough - despite the rampant insanity the trans movement displays - you can be trans enough to not regret castration surgeries and hormone treatment. Change my mind!
She's inconsistent. The "reasonable trannies" are the worst ones. They think they're better than the others, but they're completely inconsistent and prove the point--the whole thing is a fraud.
No other explanation works. If she knows she's not a man, what is the point of anything she does?
After seeing a couple of podcasts with Aaron I was thinking that detransition might actually be on the cards. It takes a lot of courage to detransition. A lot more than it does to transition. You are fighting with doubts whether you will pass in your sex. Admitting to yourself that you've made a mistake is huge. But admitting it to everyone around you while the concept of trans has cultural clout and you yourself have carved a position for yourself as a reasonable, respected commentator is an even bigger ask. There are people like shapeshifter who, having been confronted with TERF logic, have gone from trans activism to accepting their sexed reality. I think outspoken activists who regret their transition are the people who can give children a different perspective in this cultural moment. I think Aaron might be one of them at some point. It's a process for most people to give up the idea that true trans exists.
There really is no such thing as "detransition" because nobody transitions in the first place.
Aaron is female and will always be female. She needs to stop taking testosterone and admit that this is mutilation, delusion, and fraud. That's what needs to happen.
there is no such thing as trans. just confused people trying to be something they can never be. redrawing the map does not change the land.