For what it's worth, I very much appreciate hearing your perspectives and experiences Aaron. As a lifetime disaffected progressive, I truly need to understand how someone like you in mid-life feels and experiences your choices about medicalizing when younger. I have a friend who underwent medical transition 17 or 18 years ago. At the time, I didn't think anything of it beyond the fact that my friend seemed very happy about it. We are in different cities and rarely communicate. C was a very young butch lesbian fan of my music in the early 1990s when we first met--an important fan for me, and my music was deeply important for C. (I am avoiding pronouns, awkward as that is.) I have done some writing and songs with "gender critical" content in the past few years, a few on large platforms, though very little on Twitter. But before I went public with my views, I checked in with C. C has been on my mailing list for decades. I wanted C to know that I was going to be standing up and expressing my views, that I felt I must. C was not interested in my request to talk about the subject, but was very polite, expressing how my music was part of C's journey. I asked if I should take C off my mailing list, and was cheerfully told "no, I love your music." C seems to me to be very happy and on a good path in life. I have no idea how C sees this issue--and I actually have no need to. C has no obligation to tell me. C is just enjoying life and making life better for others in C's work. So whatever views and opinions I have been reading and trying on for myself regarding All Things Trans, I have had C sitting on my shoulder, smiling at me beatifically. Someone in my heart, though someone I am not in much contact with. C reminds me that I don't have to have a "place" or a "tribe," in this fraught conversation. More than anything, I just need to be real and create beauty. So hearing from you and Aaron and others is so helpful, for me. Thank you for sharing your truth.
You guys gave me the courage to speak out. I am a butch lesbian who was misgendered all the time as a kid. Transing kids is a human rights issue that is going to blow back on all of the LGBT so speaking up is key.
Thank you, Aaron, for your candor, your efforts to help others, and your compassion. I have a question.
You say transition helped you, and I obviously cannot argue with that. My question is: do you agree that medical transition and living life "as if" you are male was one choice among many for how to deal with your feelings about your sex, as a bodily and social issue? Do you agree that there could have been other, less invasive, less fraught with dangers and difficulties, ways to resolve your psychological issues?
I am glad you do not regret your choices, but I would want to know if you agree that your transition was a choice, that this was not inevitable for you to ever to be at peace with yourself, and, most importantly in advising my own teenage daughter, that it is important to at least try to live in your unaltered body as an adult before embarking on this difficult (but potentially beneficial) set of challenges? My follow-up question would be: do you agree that, if you could have figured out a less physically invasive and socially difficult way of dealing with your psychological issues, that would have been better for you overall?
I hope you don't find these questions disrespectful. I am truly trying to figure this out, and do the right thing for my daughter. I believe she should experience life as a female before medically altering her body to appear male. I truly believe this is the best way to go about solving her psychological issues. I think she owes herself that. If I'm wrong, then I will stop trying to advise her in this direction, but I am not convinced I am wrong at this point.
Thank you for this and for not giving in to the pressure to radicalize. I have been so disappointed to see others move towards a level of gender critical that is incompatible with making real progress (not to mention unkind and intolerant.) There has to be a middle road that's big enough for us all. I believe we can figure this out together and I hope more activists and leaders will come to the same conclusion.
Thanks for your thoughtful commentary. On this: "criticism from Gender Critical activists who feel that by not detransitioning we are advertising transition" I know these extremes are most visible, because the silencing has been so harsh and effective, but most feminists are happy to live and let live. This critics you refer to are in large part reacting against the absolutism that rules institutional academia, queerdom, left and liberal (looking at you Dems), and even feminist orgs. They're furious at the casting-out, shunning and punishment of feminists who dissent and refuse to Recite the Creed. And they have reason to be.
But condemning adults for their life choices is a bridge too far.
I loved that comment about potential transitioners not wanting to looking like middle aged men instead of cute k-pop boys - hair loss and weight gain could be even more powerful drivers of desistance than early onset dementia or osteoporosis. It is simultaneously funny and tragic.
There is no such thing as "transition." Even someone who passes as a male is still female because sex is binary and immutable. And anyone who thinks that should be tolerated, in any way, has opened the door to all of the problems that follow.
Imagine this with any other mental illness. An anorexic who weighs 70 pounds who wants liposuction, but insists that she knows she's not really fat and the most important thing is just leave children alone. A schizophrenic who insists everyone call him Napoleon because of the voices in his head, but don't worry he's one of good schizos because only a tiny percentage of people are really delusional!
It won't happen. This will never work. This is part of the problem, so you cannot be the solution.
This whole thing is a fraud, and nothing else will work except stopping all of it. The raison d'etre of the movement is children and pedophilia. You cannot stop it by allowing it for adults ONLY (I mean the really mentally ill, delusional ones, not the fake ones!).
There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria" and there is no such thing as "trans." No other approach will work.
I cannot ever express to you - Aaron and Aaron— how much comfort you have brought to me over the past 18 months. My daughter was a high school senior when COVID hit. Isolation and lockdowns nearly killed her -literally. Forced ( not by us) separation from her long time boyfriend and all friends, no graduation, no traditions, no 18th birthday…FEAR of the virus. She self isolated in her freshman year of college. Within 6 months she was hospitalized for panic attacks, heavily medicated all while i was not allowed to visit. She had developed TIK TOK syndrome. She came home for a year to get healthy but therapists continued her 6 meds and she attempted suicide within 3 more months. Her Tics spread to her siblings and were debilitating. Eventually she conned us into letting her attend college in Colorado yet developed POTS from the mandatory booster. Eventually she came out as Trans on social media. Convinced she was born in the wrong body. The whole script. Made up trauma, attacks on me…and a “doctor” in Colorado decided she was an EXCELLENT candidate for Testosterone. She had a horrible reaction. We begged her to stop. That was transphobic. THEN I FOUND TRANSPARENCY AND GWLens. You are all a gift. A true gift. You comfort and educate me. Just your opening music calms me. Now we have a new scandal within a scandal. (though we are loving and supporting her and actually excited and terrified)…Did you know that when you tell a girl she is actually a boy and she takes T and stops taking her birth control that she can get pregnant???????? I knew. You knew. And the people in positions of authority know too. Another scandal. You are an important voice in saving future kids.
To whom you are attracted sexually is purely subjective and therefore cannot reasonably be contested by an outside observer. Where you decide to live your life on a spectrum of superficial, stereotypical male to female attributes (and we all do) is also purely subjective and similarly cannot be questioned. However, your biological sex reflects an objective reality which cannot be changed by your subjective personal view and futile attempts to do so can result in serious health impacts to you as well as actual harms to members of the sex you are impersonating (especially women). Finally, others who are grounded in objective reality should never be forced to accept your subjective version of your actual biological sex.
There's no such thing as "trans," for anyone, at any age.
And that includes you. You're part of the problem. You didn't "transition." You're living in a delusion, and you need real help. Stop acting like you're on the "good ones" who isn't crazy like the other trannies.
At least they're consistent. If you know this is a fraud, what have you done with your life? What is the point of anything you do? You're worse than those doctors.
I'm not quite sure I understand your reasoning, Aaron. If you detransitioned, clearly you would speak from a position of truth. You say you would have done so if those treatment options had been available to you. What stops you from pursuing them now? I do remember your saying in a podcast that you have medical problems after sex trait modification. Would your health not improve if you let your body revert to a female pattern?
I don't quite understand the argument that you do NOT advertise the concept of "true trans" because of the cultural moment we're in. Any person with a mind for transition and who is still in touch with a modicum of their embodied reality will believe that they are the "reasonable trans" like you. Only if you detransitioned however are you not advertising trans in a cultural moment were the critics have actually made huge inroads into fighting the ideology. Puberty blockers are forbidden in the UK, hate speech laws are powerfully contested in Scotland etc.
You on the other hand seem to suggest if you're sane enough - despite the rampant insanity the trans movement displays - you can be trans enough to not regret castration surgeries and hormone treatment. Change my mind!
For what it's worth, I very much appreciate hearing your perspectives and experiences Aaron. As a lifetime disaffected progressive, I truly need to understand how someone like you in mid-life feels and experiences your choices about medicalizing when younger. I have a friend who underwent medical transition 17 or 18 years ago. At the time, I didn't think anything of it beyond the fact that my friend seemed very happy about it. We are in different cities and rarely communicate. C was a very young butch lesbian fan of my music in the early 1990s when we first met--an important fan for me, and my music was deeply important for C. (I am avoiding pronouns, awkward as that is.) I have done some writing and songs with "gender critical" content in the past few years, a few on large platforms, though very little on Twitter. But before I went public with my views, I checked in with C. C has been on my mailing list for decades. I wanted C to know that I was going to be standing up and expressing my views, that I felt I must. C was not interested in my request to talk about the subject, but was very polite, expressing how my music was part of C's journey. I asked if I should take C off my mailing list, and was cheerfully told "no, I love your music." C seems to me to be very happy and on a good path in life. I have no idea how C sees this issue--and I actually have no need to. C has no obligation to tell me. C is just enjoying life and making life better for others in C's work. So whatever views and opinions I have been reading and trying on for myself regarding All Things Trans, I have had C sitting on my shoulder, smiling at me beatifically. Someone in my heart, though someone I am not in much contact with. C reminds me that I don't have to have a "place" or a "tribe," in this fraught conversation. More than anything, I just need to be real and create beauty. So hearing from you and Aaron and others is so helpful, for me. Thank you for sharing your truth.
You guys gave me the courage to speak out. I am a butch lesbian who was misgendered all the time as a kid. Transing kids is a human rights issue that is going to blow back on all of the LGBT so speaking up is key.
Thank you, Aaron, for your candor, your efforts to help others, and your compassion. I have a question.
You say transition helped you, and I obviously cannot argue with that. My question is: do you agree that medical transition and living life "as if" you are male was one choice among many for how to deal with your feelings about your sex, as a bodily and social issue? Do you agree that there could have been other, less invasive, less fraught with dangers and difficulties, ways to resolve your psychological issues?
I am glad you do not regret your choices, but I would want to know if you agree that your transition was a choice, that this was not inevitable for you to ever to be at peace with yourself, and, most importantly in advising my own teenage daughter, that it is important to at least try to live in your unaltered body as an adult before embarking on this difficult (but potentially beneficial) set of challenges? My follow-up question would be: do you agree that, if you could have figured out a less physically invasive and socially difficult way of dealing with your psychological issues, that would have been better for you overall?
I hope you don't find these questions disrespectful. I am truly trying to figure this out, and do the right thing for my daughter. I believe she should experience life as a female before medically altering her body to appear male. I truly believe this is the best way to go about solving her psychological issues. I think she owes herself that. If I'm wrong, then I will stop trying to advise her in this direction, but I am not convinced I am wrong at this point.
Thank you for this and for not giving in to the pressure to radicalize. I have been so disappointed to see others move towards a level of gender critical that is incompatible with making real progress (not to mention unkind and intolerant.) There has to be a middle road that's big enough for us all. I believe we can figure this out together and I hope more activists and leaders will come to the same conclusion.
Thanks for your thoughtful commentary. On this: "criticism from Gender Critical activists who feel that by not detransitioning we are advertising transition" I know these extremes are most visible, because the silencing has been so harsh and effective, but most feminists are happy to live and let live. This critics you refer to are in large part reacting against the absolutism that rules institutional academia, queerdom, left and liberal (looking at you Dems), and even feminist orgs. They're furious at the casting-out, shunning and punishment of feminists who dissent and refuse to Recite the Creed. And they have reason to be.
But condemning adults for their life choices is a bridge too far.
I loved that comment about potential transitioners not wanting to looking like middle aged men instead of cute k-pop boys - hair loss and weight gain could be even more powerful drivers of desistance than early onset dementia or osteoporosis. It is simultaneously funny and tragic.
Thank you for your candor. It's so refreshing!
There is no such thing as "transition." Even someone who passes as a male is still female because sex is binary and immutable. And anyone who thinks that should be tolerated, in any way, has opened the door to all of the problems that follow.
Imagine this with any other mental illness. An anorexic who weighs 70 pounds who wants liposuction, but insists that she knows she's not really fat and the most important thing is just leave children alone. A schizophrenic who insists everyone call him Napoleon because of the voices in his head, but don't worry he's one of good schizos because only a tiny percentage of people are really delusional!
It won't happen. This will never work. This is part of the problem, so you cannot be the solution.
This whole thing is a fraud, and nothing else will work except stopping all of it. The raison d'etre of the movement is children and pedophilia. You cannot stop it by allowing it for adults ONLY (I mean the really mentally ill, delusional ones, not the fake ones!).
There is no such thing as "gender dysphoria" and there is no such thing as "trans." No other approach will work.
Thanks for all your work.
Yes. This. ALL OF THIS!
I cannot ever express to you - Aaron and Aaron— how much comfort you have brought to me over the past 18 months. My daughter was a high school senior when COVID hit. Isolation and lockdowns nearly killed her -literally. Forced ( not by us) separation from her long time boyfriend and all friends, no graduation, no traditions, no 18th birthday…FEAR of the virus. She self isolated in her freshman year of college. Within 6 months she was hospitalized for panic attacks, heavily medicated all while i was not allowed to visit. She had developed TIK TOK syndrome. She came home for a year to get healthy but therapists continued her 6 meds and she attempted suicide within 3 more months. Her Tics spread to her siblings and were debilitating. Eventually she conned us into letting her attend college in Colorado yet developed POTS from the mandatory booster. Eventually she came out as Trans on social media. Convinced she was born in the wrong body. The whole script. Made up trauma, attacks on me…and a “doctor” in Colorado decided she was an EXCELLENT candidate for Testosterone. She had a horrible reaction. We begged her to stop. That was transphobic. THEN I FOUND TRANSPARENCY AND GWLens. You are all a gift. A true gift. You comfort and educate me. Just your opening music calms me. Now we have a new scandal within a scandal. (though we are loving and supporting her and actually excited and terrified)…Did you know that when you tell a girl she is actually a boy and she takes T and stops taking her birth control that she can get pregnant???????? I knew. You knew. And the people in positions of authority know too. Another scandal. You are an important voice in saving future kids.
refreshing! appreciate your condor and insights
Great article - refreshing to hear from your perspective- thank you. Keep up the good work in this fight
To whom you are attracted sexually is purely subjective and therefore cannot reasonably be contested by an outside observer. Where you decide to live your life on a spectrum of superficial, stereotypical male to female attributes (and we all do) is also purely subjective and similarly cannot be questioned. However, your biological sex reflects an objective reality which cannot be changed by your subjective personal view and futile attempts to do so can result in serious health impacts to you as well as actual harms to members of the sex you are impersonating (especially women). Finally, others who are grounded in objective reality should never be forced to accept your subjective version of your actual biological sex.
How is this any different when applied to adults?
There's no such thing as "trans," for anyone, at any age.
And that includes you. You're part of the problem. You didn't "transition." You're living in a delusion, and you need real help. Stop acting like you're on the "good ones" who isn't crazy like the other trannies.
At least they're consistent. If you know this is a fraud, what have you done with your life? What is the point of anything you do? You're worse than those doctors.
I'm not quite sure I understand your reasoning, Aaron. If you detransitioned, clearly you would speak from a position of truth. You say you would have done so if those treatment options had been available to you. What stops you from pursuing them now? I do remember your saying in a podcast that you have medical problems after sex trait modification. Would your health not improve if you let your body revert to a female pattern?
I don't quite understand the argument that you do NOT advertise the concept of "true trans" because of the cultural moment we're in. Any person with a mind for transition and who is still in touch with a modicum of their embodied reality will believe that they are the "reasonable trans" like you. Only if you detransitioned however are you not advertising trans in a cultural moment were the critics have actually made huge inroads into fighting the ideology. Puberty blockers are forbidden in the UK, hate speech laws are powerfully contested in Scotland etc.
You on the other hand seem to suggest if you're sane enough - despite the rampant insanity the trans movement displays - you can be trans enough to not regret castration surgeries and hormone treatment. Change my mind!